Tag Archives: electronic monitoring

July and everything after

Anniversaries.

Personal holidays.

Everyone has a date or a few dates that impact their lives.

July 9th, 2014 is one of mine.

It was 3 years ago yesterday that I was arrested for Sex Trafficking. Never in my wildest dreams would I have seen that coming. Promoting prostitution, sure, but SEX TRAFFICKING. What the hell.

Anniversaries are stressful for me. They are personal holidays where I measure how far I’ve come or how much time I have wasted. I don’t know about you, but I never measure up to the standards I have in my mind. I am a perfectionist, and have high expectations of myself. Over the years, I’ve learned to not put those same expectations on others.  At almost 43 years old, I am attempting to give myself some slack in that area.

Not even a week after I was arrested was the big vacation my then 13 year old daughter and I had been planning. Her birthday is in January, and it was her birthday present. Universal Studios, Knottsberry Farm, just mom and daughter time in sunny California. Shopping, waterparks, ice cream. Memories that would carry us through the difficult moments of teenage rebellion that I knew where in my near future. Instead, I looked out the thick window of my two bunk cell, staring at the empty sky, when that plane we were supposed to be on was taking off.

I will forever owe her a vacation.

With this in mind, I am at home on electronic monitoring on lockdown today. I am still going through my paperwork I saved, and have plenty of journals from Hiland Mountain and  GWC.  This morning I stumbled upon something I wrote the day I got to GWC. I thought it would be a fitting way to celebrate not being in a closed wall jail, when only 3 short years ago I was uncertain of what the future would hold. With so many uncertainties, I quickly got used to not making plans.

It is taking me some time to think about the future. I have 10 months, and really in my mind, anything can happen to me between now and then.

The State owns me, so all my plans are for the long term.

Leave Alaska. Buy an RV. Travel. Blog. Write. Speak out without fear of being put back in jail.

Here are copies, forgive the many typos, as old fashioned typewriters are unforgiving!

EPSON MFP image
EPSON MFP image
EPSON MFP image
EPSON MFP image

I am now working at IHOP, after the job at The Bradley House ended when the summer season was over, I started as a cook at IHOP. After about 5 months I went to the FOH, and became a server. Much better money.

I am living in a cheap apartment about a 15 minute walk from my work. My now 16 year old daughter flew out on a plane last night to visit family. Not quite a California vacation, but I know that she knows that I know I owe her one.

My life is different than what I imagined it would be 3 years ago. I cannot wait to see how it changes in another 3 years.

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Rights of people with no voice

For many that are newly released, either on probation, parole, or electronic monitoring, the stress of being released from incarceration is felt on varying levels. Depending on the amount of support someone has from family, friends, support groups, resource agencies, probation officers, and employers, life can get complicated quickly. Yes, electronic monitoring is still incarceration, but thankfully there is the added bonus of being a responsible member of society. Rather than being incarcerated with walls surrounding the offender, electronic monitoring places clear and strict limitations on an incarcerated person, with the added bonus of less cost to the State of Alaska, along with many added bonuses to the offender on electronic monitoring.

Those are just the external issues that may impact someones choices.

Throw in the average internal issues such as anxiety, depression, fears of returning to incarceration, frustration over problems that arose over being incarcerated, and self esteem that may be lacking as the road to freedom is trekked (no car, no money, no clothes, health issues) life isn’t peachy keen just because someone is released.

I haven’t written in a few weeks because I was dealing with some of those issues.

I will finish the last of my Halfway Houses are halfway there series after I get this out.

What have I been up to, besides working two jobs? I have been going to the Alaska Criminal Justice Commission meetings, as well as a few Re-Entry Coalition meetings these last few months.

I have been out of Glenwood Center for a little over 3 months now, on electronic monitoring, living with my daughter and picking up the pieces of what happened almost 3 years ago to this very day. My arrest date is July 9th, 2014. Reflecting on this, I am amazed at how 3 years has gone by so quickly, yet on the same hand, everything that has happened within these last 3 years has seemed like an entirely different life than what I had lived before and am now living. It is safe to say that I have become a stronger person through the process, yet have some residual issues I will be likely dealing with the rest of my life because of 1) my charge and 2) the apparent discrepancy of how those with criminal convictions are treated.

What do I mean by this?

First, let me tell you how looking for a place to rent is difficult for a person with a criminal history. In Alaska, we have courtview, so any charges, whether dismissed, consolidated, or dropped entirely, are on the courtview website for any potential landlord to view. Landlords that don’t know any better can read what, lets use myself as an example, charges were brought forth. July 9th 2014 I was charged with 8 counts of Sex Trafficking. Courtview lists all 8 charges. All but 1 were dismissed, but all were damming in how someone could view me, a potential renter. I won’t even go into what Alaska deems Sex Trafficking as opposed to what the typical citizen views as Sex Trafficking. I know what I envision when I hear the term, and I know what the Alaska State Statute spells out. Read previous blogs if you are still unsure.

Or, how about the landlord that saw I had an Eviction Proceeding, not even bothering to notice I was the Plaintiff, evicting renters from the home I lived in and had a mortgage on before and while I was incarcerated?

Those with criminal convictions face many hurdles when seeking employment and housing. The screening out process is easy for landlords and employers when they have options of who to rent to or hire based on information that may be untrue or overblown by the way Alaska brings charges to those charged in criminal proceedings. From my experience, and countless others I have discussed the criminal justice system with, one charge equals multiple, only to be dropped as part of the bargaining process. This may not be justice, but this is how we as Americans have allowed the criminal justice system to be managed.

There is movement rectifying this issue within the Alaska Criminal Justice system. It is regarding the Sealing, Clemency and Expungement Options, a list of recommendations brought forth to the Barriers to Reentry Workgroup by Barbara Dunham. It discusses how other States have dealt with these issues, and shows options available, along with concerns that go along with those options.

Some argue that the more access is restricted to a record of conviction (courtview), the more like a pardon the restriction will be. This is not an issue in cases that did not result in a conviction. That STILL leaves the hanger on charges that were dismissed as part of a plea bargain.

Removing a case from courtview so any quick check wouldn’t further the misuse of information found on courtview would not hide information from background checks. A reliable background check from a landlord or employer would still show verifiable criminal charges.

In essence, once someone has a criminal charge, the sanctions of that crime does not end once incarceration is over, or even when probation is over. Thanks to courtview, those charges are visible for years to come, effectively impacting a citizens ability to live without collateral consequences, sadly being held accountable of choices made 10, 20 years ago although the price had been paid long ago for that crime. Life goes on, and sometimes what was illegal 5, 10 years ago isn’t a crime anymore, but still is on a persons record.

What does this mean for me? Well, not too much as long as I stay at the same minimum wage job I have been at for almost a year now, and don’t move from the apartment I am in.

Has discrimination based on criminal convictions affected you?  Or has it affected a decision you have had to make?

Do you think the proposed changes will impact Alaska citizens for the good, or do you think this will further confuse the justice being served?

What do you see as important changes that need to be made?

What does this mean for Alaskans? Depending on who you ask, it means the difference between breaking down a barrier that could, worse case scenario, lead someone to make poor choices and continue the cycle of incarceration that the difficulties placed them into already.

I hope that we, as humans, can make a change that will impact those to come and not just think of the here and now and what it means to only us.

Helpful links for more information

 

Wide array of resources listed here from the Alaska Criminal Justice Commission HERE

UAA Justice Center: Expungement and Limiting Public Access to Alaska Criminal Case Records in the Digital Age

Written on the fourth of July, so if you haven’t read this in awhile, read The Declaration of Independence.

 

Empowerment through Consequence

To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom. –  Ralph Waldo Emerson

I only became aware that I needed to stand up and voice my beliefs after realizing the personal consequences of unfair legislation.

I have been reading up on everything that I was unable to read about for the last three years. Binders, websites, resources. Luckily there is a lot out there.

A big BIG thank you to M. Dante.

I liken it very much to a baby taking her first steps, and peering up a huge stair case…the journey ahead. So, I will research, read, reach out, ponder and look within in order to learn how to continue on this very worthwhile journey before me.

It is easy enough because the way I have personally lived my life has been by a few rules:

Do the least harm to all I meet

I was raised that if you didn’t have anything nice to say, then keep your mouth shut. Over the years I have been able to generalize this. One of my fave quotes is “Even a fish could learn to stay out of trouble if it would keep its mouth shut.”  So very true.

I am usually the one sitting quietly on the side. I try not to say anything unless it brings some value to the conversation.

Disclaimer: If you are close friends or family this does not apply. I will continue to be a silly sing-a-song-that-I-hear-a-beat-to-and not know the words kinda chic.

Any positive moment is movement towards what is positive

Through my early readings I see many sex work advocates upset over legislation that doesn’t address exactly what they want. I keep in mind it is a process, and as long as we are going forward and not backwards, it is a step in the right direction.

This saved my ass when I was repeatedly denied requests I put in (mail with smudges, visits, passes, electronic monitoring, write up appeals…the list could go on). Although the outcome was not what I wanted (usually) I felt I was going forward just by requesting, questioning and trying to be heard, because I did get some answers that weren’t always “no’s”.

Standing together and not bickering amongst ourselves is a step towards change. Wasting time and energy against each other is what those who wish to dispel our cause wants. Ask some of the women I did time with, I was always talking about how we needed to support and be there for each other, not bicker, tell on or ostracize. That is what makes us weak, and by us, I mean women because it has been my personal experience that men call this b.s much sooner and work towards getting things done, not focusing on petty issues.

Tell my truth

Over time my truth has changed. I feel as if I have lived several lives, and you know what? I am okay with that. More than okay. I find my strength in that. It means I have a broader view of the world, of people and most importantly I am open to know myself. After all, I  see life as a journey towards who I authentically am as a person, woman, mother, friend and human. I define my journey, not any one else. I find empowerment through consequence.

Live Your Life

Just because I am out on electronic monitoring doesn’t mean that my life is butterflies and sparklers. First of all, butterflies scare the crap out of me. Fun fact: Check my walls and you will see a few butterflies though, dead and under glass or just plain not real.

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I have come far since July 2014. My life has changed, for the better. I have said countless times back at the halfway house that they didn’t break me. The joke was, at medication call, staff would ask if I had any meds I needed to take and I would reply “Not yet!”.

For those that have never been incarcerated, let me tell you it is a test in patience. It can make you confront your fears or drown in them, and worst yet, you have time to look back and think about what could have been different…what will be different…then finally, what is different.

I find the disparities between women and men in sentencing here in Alaska vastly discouraging, Countless women sit behind bars due to minor violations while men are usually handed far less severe consequences. Us women, on a whole, have a lot to lose. Typically we are mothers and employees, and being incarcerated means our children are the ones who pay, whether by foster care or loss of a parents love. It is not easy for the ones beyond the walls. Jobs aren’t held just because we are in, and finding another one can mean fast food or some other low paying employment. A necessity to remain in good standing with the probation officer as well as a legit way to pay bills.

At the halfway house where I was we were told to take the first job offered. I wasn’t allowed an office job. I had an amazing job offer at a small marketing firm but it was a no-no to have access to a phone or a computer at the halfway house.  My employment background is office and marketing/HR. I had no choice but to go the typical route: restaurant work. If I am guilty of sex trafficking, so be it, but I can honestly say that I have been subjected to labor trafficking just upon the basis of what it was like to find a job and keep a job while there. I have been called a retard and a bitch from my store manager and sent home and not given any option to quit without consequences. A job is money in the pocket to the halfway house, and I was only a number and a check.

I still find it hard to believe that I was sentenced to five and a half years for running a business. Yes, an illegal business, but I truly thought the independent contractor agreements covered me. Excuses and blame, according to the lawmakers. Either way, I carry on. Unbroken. Stronger. Left to gather my thoughts and put it all out there. So, now I can. Now I will. And I hope others follow suit.

Have a great day!